i am shutting down

I've decided to never write on this blog again. I know I wasn't much, but now at least I never will be!

I guess I should explain what caused this. Well, you see, IT WAS EXPOSED. Some particular member of my family *COUGH*my mom*COUGH* found out about this blog, and it just wasn't ready. It needed some years or so to adjust to society. Yeah. ADJUST. What with all my three comments and such.

Anyways, I felt really bad and uncomfortable. I was pretty upset when I found out. I threatened her, with a knife of tears, that I would delete it. She was shocked, and urged me urgently not to. She said she would never read it again, if it upsetted me that much.

I, however, don't care. It's something that cannot be forgotten or forgiven. People can still find it, and read it, but I will not write on it anymore.

Farewell, no one.

ah, so relaxing. The nice sun, cool waters, good music, and big, spiny, purple fish chasing me! ... wait, what?

Hi. I'm playing the New Super Mario Bros, and I'm on the last course of the 6th world! And I now have 40 lives. I fail. I used to have 99!

the students at the university of failology are having a field day

FAIL.

I'm playing Super Mario Bros., and I keep failing. Well, not really. I have 99 lives and I'm on world 4. I'm still failing, though. I keep getting eaten by the Goombas (evil, armless mushrooms with unibrows) five seconds into a course. So, I'm losing lives and gaining them, one after the other.

I suck.

Also, I keep pressing the 1 button instead of the 2 button. That's why I'm running full speed into the mushrooms instead of jumping over them.

Plus, I'm distracted by the Koopas dancing. I'm ready to jump over them, and then they start dancing, so I land in front of them. And then they eat me and I die.

And that's why the students use me for their research on failing. If they use me, it guarantees they'll get A's on their essays.

don't you hate it when the smell of meat randomly fills your nose?

I woke up this morning to close my window, as always. Then, I woke up a couple hours later to the smell of meat. I couldn't go back to sleep, since the stench filled my nostrils. It was everywhere, and I didn't know where it was coming from. I got up again to open the window, and my mom opened the door, surprised to find me awake. And, unfortunately, I was stuck. I couldn't go back to sleep.

I went downstairs, and found the source of the smell that kept me awake was a pot of quinoa my mom was cooking for her lunch. Who knew such a tiny pot of cooked grain seeds could produce a scent that I could smell all the way upstairs in my bedroom?

So, I decided to spend my waking hours watching movies on Netflix. You see, I was upset that we didn't have cable anymore since Eric left. Yes, I know, it's pretty selfish, but reading back on that post makes me a little nauseous. Anyway, I was upset I couldn't watch Avatar: The Last Airbender, but then I found out that Netflix had all three seasons, and that I could watch them using the Wii. You know, the DVD? Anyways, I was soo happy, I watched 10 episodes from the first season in a row, starting with The Boy in the Iceberg. I was up 'till midnight. It was so late, I thought I would sleep in this morning, but as fate would have it, I didn't. Blame the quinoa.

the fluffy bunny cloud symbolizes death and destruction.

"You can go ahead and let me drown now."

Hi there. It's a beautiful Tuesday afternoon. Sort of. The sky is very gray...

I've been having an Avatar: The Last Airbender marathon for 5 hours now. I must mention it, since it was the only show I've been watching since the beginning of summer break, other than Ghost Whisperer.

"My cabbages!"

What I love so much about it is that everything about it is so ancient Chinese, yet it's all American. For once, something Japanese-worthy belongs to us. And for a while, I actually thought it was Japanese, and the shows I watched were just English dubs. Other things I love about it is the clothes. Omigod, THE CLOTHES. They are so beautiful and unique and creative. I want to dress like that! I just love the different styles and colors unique to each nation, especially the Fire Nation. I usually don't like the color red, I think it can be too distracting and obnoxious, but the Fire Nation clothes are burgundy colored instead of fire engine-red or something bright like that.

And the music is amazing. I love it so much. I'll sit through the end credits just to listen to the music.

I remember when this show first came out, I was eight. I went to a private school, and my friend, Brianna, liked to watch it a lot, along with me. Well, I knew about it, but I didn't watch it that much. She actually had the DVD, so she was obviously a bigger fan than me. From her I also discovered Miyazaki films.

I love this show. I have to see all 3 seasons. I MUST buy the entire series.

Or else Zuko will turn his angst on me.

you mean they've taken what we thought we think and made us think we thought our thoughts we've been thinking our thoughts we think we thought?

I've just realized (well, not just) that I'm extremely bad at voicing the thoughts in my head. (That might explain the weird titles...) In the rare instances when I manage to force out the words in a, say, essay or narrative, people say I'm a very good writer.

But...

I find that when, in a conversation, I tell people what I really want to say, what I'm actually thinking about in my head, they look at me like, like.... like THAT!

Then, I feel bad because I'm strange.

I guess that's what a blog is good for.

in case you were wondering

how to answer this question

If a spleen and a tomato juice were involved in a war between aliens, would the horse radish win a poodle?

No, because it's too spicy. And plus, the purple jalapeno didn't like the salad.

Also, the poodles were all obliterated by the aliens.

i'm as shocked as you are, or, he may be Erik but I call him Eric, or, "MOMMY, ERIC TALKS TO HIMSELF" "yes, sweetie, but you see, WE DON'T CARE"

Just days ago I was imagining a future with my mom and her boyfriend happily married and having children that she can pressure to give her grandchildren, not me. And then, suddenly, I am interrupted in the middle of my Avatar: The Last Airbender marathon to be told that they will be going their separate ways so Eric can go back to school.

Eric will be leaving! I'm so sad. I may expressed distaste to him before, but I really will miss him. And I remember, just minutes before my heartbreak, I was opening the cupboard and thinking how I didn't want them to break up. And now, I am here, typing this post, just five feet from Eric at his computer, scheduling his trip and still calling my mom "honey".

I feel like bashing a teapot over my head.

I'll miss his cooking and way of saying "delish" and "omigosh" and other things. If this is really happening, I don't want my mom to ever date again.

But, then, I'll be the one who will have to get married and have grandchildren. Ugh. Don't even ask me why I hate that.

"can't anyone do their evil on the first floor?" "or at least put in an elevator"

$50 for the first person who can guess what book the title quote is from. Haha, just kidding. I don't have $50. But, anyway, you'll get my admiration if you can guess what book it's from. Hint: the picture is a clue to what series it's from.

Anyways, I got a new book on Saturday. It's the book the quote is from, so I can't tell you it. But I will tell you that it's very good, and that the author might possibly be the most imaginative and ingenious-minded I have ever seen. I mean, after 8 books, he's still going strong. (oops, I hope that didn't reveal anything)

Also, it's John Cusack's birthday today! He turns 44. *fwee!*

there's a breeze, and it smells like hawaii.

(Above: Atticus and Scout)
This morning, I woke up at 10:00, brushed my teeth, and came downstairs at an undefined time. And then, I decided to finally watch the DVD I rented from Netflix of To Kill a Mockingbird.

I was afraid it would be like Flowers for Algernon, but it wasn't. They did a very good job of adapting the book. The characters and the setting were pretty much exactly like how I imagined them. Plus, Scout was incredibly cute. And her haircut was perfect. For her character, I mean.

And another thing, I love how they made the movie in the same tone as the book. The novel by Harper Lee was written through the eyes of a child, as in the inability to realize that there's evil in the world. It was comforting and trusting, and those same feelings were included in the movie. Which is pretty amazing.

I also watched Bringing Up Baby. It was about a paleontologist professor getting caught up in various predicaments involving an outlandish heiress and her pet leopard, Baby. It was hilarious and wonderfully complicated. Katherine Hepburn is a great actress. Although, not as good as Audrey Hepburn. Well, maybe so. It's a very close match. Well, since Katherine came first, maybe she gets it. But, they're both great actresses in different ways. Katherine can play anything, and Audrey is sophisticated and has great facial expressions. Plus, did I mention that Audrey Hepburn is my favorite actress? Haha, you should've guessed that for yourself, with 2/3 of my favorite movies starring her.

(Oh, and I changed the template. I was looking for a way to make my link colors darker and found all these different backgrounds. I've decided to try all the different kinds to see which one I shall keep permanently. Yes, it's kind of like a screening. Or not. Don't take my word for it, I'm not that smart. I don't know vocabulary very well. Anyway, I picked this one to go first because I liked it a lot. It's very "Me", you know? You don't? Um, it's because I like to read. And books. I like books. I think they're pretty.

Wow, this was a very long "side note". Why did I put it in parentheses?)

"let's give the pasta a little swirly-whirly"

(Above: Jamie at Home)

I'm so sorry! I haven't been posting since the day before graduation. (ok, I know there aren't many people visiting this blog, so it's kind of like I'm talking to myself. the only person that visits this place is bloodyawfulpoetry, who is TOTALLY AWESOME for even acknowledging my existence! visit her blog; it's a million times more awesome then mine.)

I started this post around a week ago, but most of it is written on June 28.

At graduation, I wore high heels.

I would show a picture, but I'm embarrassed to ask someone to take a picture of my feet. Or to take a picture of my own feet.

Okay, more about graduation: we wore the gowns the ugliest shade of yellow ever, sat down for a long time, and got fake diplomas. (we had to get our real diplomas afterwards. don't ask me why.)

But something that really sucked was when the teachers called out the names of the kids receiving their diplomas. I don't know how it started, but the kids that weren't getting their diplomas -that were sitting down- decided to make it into a popularity contest and clap for only those they liked. So, certain kids that weren't extremely well known were only met by silence. That's the most terrible thing ever. I mean, it's graduation. Give them a break! Clap for everybody. It's not that freakin' hard. It is beyond me why the kids at my school -oops, I mean EX school- are so incredibly shallow and egotistical. Maybe it's just L.A.

So, that was it. Graduation isn't really that great. At least when it's middle school.

it's moving. no it's not. is it? it isn't.

In these sculptures by Claire Morgan, natural materials are hung from wire to create the illusion that they are moving. Or in this case, falling. The materials are fruits, feathers, and flower petals.

...we're busy conducting physical representations of the easy susceptibility of the human mind!

Wow, it must have been hard work suspending all those objects so precisely. She must have been patient.

Anyway, today in English, we watched the movie Flowers for Algernon, since we read the book. Or, part of it, at least. It's about a guy named Charlie Gordon who is hired by a clinic to be part of their experiment to artificially increase intelligence.

Yeah, the movie was poorly attributed. The book was good, though. Well, the part I read, at least.

You know what you want but you get what you said that you know you've always said that you wanted instead.

Remember how before I said I didn't like Daria because i thought it was too unrealistic and teenager-y for me? Well, I take it back. I realize that, to me, Daria is cozy and clever. Like, if something really unsettling happens or whatever, I just feel bad, I find that I can watch an episode of Daria and then it's all better. At least, until I remember my hurt again. But, I'm usually over it by then.

Plus, it's so inspirational. I think I'm getting smarter just by watching it. But, I can never be as smart as Daria. At least, not as facetious.

Aha, she does get angry. Like when Quinn denies being her sister.

So, watch it. Here's a tip: watch the episodes in order.

(By the way, the title above is a quote from the song "Finally Found" by Late Night Alumni, another thing that calms me down when I'm frustrated or upset. Also, the picture is "Winter Kiss 2" by Baby Joan.)

imagine all the people, browsing in a mall. isn't that weird?

Ever since reading Tavi's "About Me" description, I've wanted to see Daria. And just last night, I finally did.

I thought it was amazing, and exactly like something Tavi would watch. The theme song and title sequence were cozy and inviting, promising clever dialogue and intelligence. And it did. At least, the first episode did. And the second episode. Then, as I saw more and more, progressing into the seasons, I became more and more unattached from that world of Invader Zim-style psychotic teachers and surprising humor.

When I saw the episode "Through a Lens Darkly", I was confused. I thought that Daria was too incapable of real human feelings to EVER feel insecure about anything. I mean, come on, she's really deadpan and monotonous all the time. Her tone of voice makes her seem apathetic and really inhuman. It's too contradictory.

And to muddle me even more, I saw the last episode of season 4, where she even kissed a boy. Are you serious? If I can't even imagine her to be anything like a normal, hormonic teenager, then how unrealistic is this show? Everything about her, her voice, her face, her outfit, it all screams I REFUSE CONFLICT WITH THE MALE ANTONYM. I think the show's screenwriters really messed up.

And plus, I think the show's atmosphere changes. Now, I don't like her voice. It's become too monotonous. And then the show's artists showed her and that boy kissing... ugh, weird. That is definitely a show for teenagers.

I think Daria is putting me in a world I don't want to be in. Like, some kind of screwed up, King of the Hill, beaten up car world. Yeah. Beaten up car. With duct tape on the polyester seats. And too much orange. Like prison uniform orange.

I might stop watching it.

pink + green = WATERMELON

Hello. It's almost summer and it's hot. And it's not 7:00 yet.

The other day, my dad and I went to Trader Joe's. It was pretty necessary, since we had no milk. And I had nothing to dunk my vegan cookies in. We found a parking spot and were about to get out.

Then, I saw this lady with, I think, PINK tights and GREEN boots. And maybe a blue shirt. The point is, she was wearing this combination of colors: blue pink and green. And it was simple. I mean- COME ON! If your going to wear those colors together, you need to make it complicated in some way, so that you can be fully spontaneous as you're obviously trying to be. I guess she was too lazy to be creative.

And, she was, of course, shopping at Trader Joe's. Of course! Yes, I dress like this because I am part of the "indie" scene and are, therefore, all wholesome and organic and a vegetarian. I am also "fashionable".

No, you are not.

And plus, when I saw her inside, she had wine in her shopping basket. Wine! No, no. Color-blind indie poseurs do NOT buy wine. Don't try to be indie. They are not alcohol maniacs like the rest of the world. They are different and ingenious and innovative. So, bleh.

Wow this was a short rant. FLAME OFF

So, that's it. Yes, I get frustrated at the smallest things.

we should've gotten credit for P.E.

I know what you're thinking: why did she put a picture of a pie here? Well, it was supposed to be all animated and stuff- like it was being eaten, but it didn't work. Well, if you click on it, it'll probably show up. CLICK ON IT.

Today, our teachers-well, our science teachers- OK, our SCIENCE teachers made us go on a field trip to the Griffith Observatory. You know, the one in Los Angeles, California, in the U.S. of A.? yeah, so, We had to HIKE for TWO hours. In a circle. Uphill. Curse the Griffith Observatory for being on a mountain. With trails.

We started at the bottom, in a park. Well, first the buses drove us there from school and deposited us there. Then, we hiked, in a group, up a steep trail. Just when I thought I would collapse (you were right, A! I should've worn shorts.) we arrived at the Observatory. I thought that was it, but then I found out we had to go up from there on another trail. We trudged a very long way to a peak where we rested for 5 whole seconds! Then, we walked up some more to another cliff where there were benches. We rested for 10 minutes and wallowed in our sweat until they told us to go back down. We paused at the previous cliff and went, in separate groups, down a very narrow path. A very narrow, steep path. Single file, we "hiked", mostly slid, down to where we started. The people behind me and I were "in tune"; they stumbled when I stumbled and said "oh my god" when they looked down and saw how far down it was when I did.

We FINALLY made it to the buses.

Then, we got to sit down and blow on our foreheads while they drove us up to the Observatory. When we got out, we sat on the grass and ate lunch. I was so tired I didn't really care about my food anymore. I was too embarrassed about how gross I felt and probably looked. I munched on my cucumber sandwich. Thankfully, I put a lot of cream cheese in it.

Next, we were escorted to the second lower level where we were handed a packet. The packet had questions. Questions... of SCIENCE. We were supposed to answer them according to what information was contained in the section of the Observatory we were in. The first section we happened to be in was The Gunther Depths of Space Exhibits (dun, dun, dun, dunnnn). I finished the last question before anyone else, but missed all the others. After I finished copying, we all crammed into a particularly big elevator and went back to the ground floor. There, outside, we answered more questions in another section of our packet. This time, I did get the last question before anyone else, and did manage to answer all the other questions, too. Then, we got back into the elevator of SCIENCE and went back to the lower levels to answer more questions. After this, we pretty much went through the same routine for all the other areas. In the Wilder Hall of the Eye Exhibits, I wanted to see the Tesla Coil in action, but didn't get to. Ever since I saw The Prestige, I have noticed whenever there is some mention of Nikola Tesla.

So, anyways, after our 25 minutes at each station, we chilled at the "Cafe at the End of the Universe" presented by Wolfgang Puck. I stopped in the gift shop for a second, but was bored, so I went inside the Cafe. I wasn't sure what to buy, so I bought a brownie that cost $2.47. It was real expensive, but really good. It was actually the best brownie I ever had. That Wolfgang Puck is a genius.

The brownie made me really thirsty, so I ended up buying a bottle of SmartWater for $3.02. I noticed for the first time that there was a fish on the inside of the wrapping.

Afterwards, we just went back to the school. And then I went home. And went on the computer and started typing this post.

That was a terrible field trip. Since they forced us to work on questions, we didn't have time to enjoy the exhibits. And the hiking was just cruel. I don't even know why they made us hike anyway. Probably so we would be too tired to answer their stupid questions.

colorful personalities... all dressed in black

The Goth people are the wonders of the seventh earth.

Also, listen to this video. You have to. It's a song that is a mash up of all these certain parts from the cartoon "Alice in Wonderland". It's so great that I cannot give it justice with words. It's so beautiful, a full and uplifting orchestra. The music fills you up with it's smooth and wavering tremors, so your very head is rambling and overflowing with pure, splendid notes. IT'S VERY EMOTION IS VOLUMINOUS OF-

Okay, I'll stop talking. I bet that sounded super weird, but that's what it is! (it's super weird! no. i meant, my super weird description is what it is) At least, that's what I encounter when I hear it. Here it is. Listen to it! It's so beautiful.

"...a delicate flicker of light darted through the crisscross of triangles and parallelograms, traveling west to east in a clean, zigzag line..."

(the Robie House in Hyde Park, Chicago)

Okay, maybe you can't actually see the light through the windows in this photo, but I wanted an old picture. This one is dated 1963.

We did more testing today, this time it was science. It was pretty easy, which worries me. However, other people finished before me, so they'll probably get worse scores than I will.

I switched from reading The Jungle in my free time to reading The Wright 3 by Blue Balliet. It's a very alleviating book, but, unfortunately, it made it so I couldn't read The Jungle. Emerging from such brightness and whimsy to that was too depressing. Hopefully, later, I will be able to read The Jungle, when I am stronger.

On another note, reading The Wright 3 makes me want to go to Chicago to see the Robie House. I am not saying that like any other reader eager to spotlight the prose of a favorite author. The first 2 or 3 times I read it, I didn't want to see the house as much as I do now. It's very hard to explain. I- I just want- (sigh). I want to see the orange sunlight glitter off the candy-sepia windows! Okay, that's not right.

Hm. Okay, so the reason is because I want to touch, to feel, the life that Frank Lloyd Wright put into this house. I want to see the special beauty and fragility this house possesses. I want to place myself in the folds of cozy and welcome that are contained in the carpet, to sit and absorb the true artistry of such a beautiful landmark. This house is very old, about a century, and I long to grasp and witness the stories of joy and sadness it can tell.

Okay, that was super corny. If you could read the actual thoughts in my mind, it would make more sense.

So, that's it. It was a pain italicizing all those titles.


About 5 minutes later- Ah, ha! I've finally got it! The Number 1 word I would use to describe this book is heartwarming. Remember that, peoples.

the filth of a lifetime...

(No, I'm not referring to the girl.)
Since we're 8th graders, we must take the CSTs (California Standardized Tests). They're these tests on math, english, history, and science that students take all over California to "measure our progress", but they're really to give the school money. I like it though, because we don't have to go to our classes and we get out early. Our schedule for Monday thru Friday is: homeroom, testing, lunch, testing. Each testing period is about 2 hours, and since each section of the test we're taking during that time is about 30-35 questions, we usually have a lot of free time. They advised us to bring a book.

The book I'm reading during this time is The Jungle by Upton Sinclair. I got it because I like to read old books, but only the most influential or the ones considered "classics". Plus, the passages I read of it on the internet were interesting.

Since it was written in the early 1900s, it's literary style is a bit different than books from this century, but, surprisingly, not that much. Actually, I wasn't that surprised. I can read it as easily as any other book, but sometimes I find that I went over a whole paragraph without visually comprehending what it said. That might be because of it's tiny print.

So far, it's very good. Although most people think of all the "Pure Food Laws" it brought, it has many great qualities as a novel. Upton Sinclair is a good author. Unfortunately, people care more about their stomachs than their hearts. In addition, most students will only think of it as homework and see no point in gaining any literary enrichment by reading it again.

So, that's it for today. If you haven't guessed, the title of my post is a quote from The Jungle. Page 104, to be precise.

First edition cover, 1906

Upton Sinclair when he first achieved muckraking fame. Isn't he cute?